10 Ways to Encourage Your Spouse

I love being able to bring a smile to my husband’s face, encouraging him when he most needs it.  You probably feel the same way about your spouse, right?  I know I certainly enjoy receiving encouragement, most of all, from my spouse- so I try to be intentional in how I encourage him.  I won’t pretend that I’m always on top of it- but I try. 

My husband and I have been married for nineteen years, with an eleven-year-old son and a sixteen-year-old daughter.  We’ve never been in a busier season, in all of our married years, than we are right now.  If we’re not careful, it’s easy to forget to take the time to encourage each other.  I’ve adopted a few habits, that my husband has said he appreciates, and which have helped me in my efforts to be an encouraging wife. I’ll share them here with you.

1. Remember his favorite candy, buy it, and hide it where only he will find it.

2. Send him text messages when you’re apart, telling him how much you appreciate him. (I set reminders on my phone, to text my husband, otherwise I forget)

3. Keep a stash of encouraging verses, quotes, and things to say, that you can refer to, and pass along, when you don’t have any words of your own.  I have a Pinterest board for this purpose.

4. Say thank you (for working hard, for being awesome, for being a good Dad, etc) even if you’ve said if before- he needs to hear these things often.

5. Talk about how much you appreciate him in front of other people

6. If he likes to read, find out what he’s reading and read it for yourself (so you can talk about it together).  *This idea can be adapted for other interests

7. Meet him for lunch when he’s at work

8. Initiate physical affection

9.Do something for him that’s normally “his job” Example, my husband normally washes the cars, but he really likes it when I surprise him by taking the car through the car wash on my own.

10.  Pay attention to the little things that make him happy, and make an extra effort to do them.  Example, I’m fine with using gift bags for presents, but I know my husband likes wrapping paper for his presents- so that’s what I use.

Bonus- if you do these things for your spouse, and they don’t notice, let it go.  Give them the benefit of the doubt (maybe they noticed and forgot to say something, or maybe they were stressed and weren’t at their best).  The purpose of encouragement is not tit for tat, but to show to love and build a person up. 

Encourage your spouse every day, with words and deeds.

Kind words are like honey—

    sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.

Proverbs 16:24

What's your favorite way to encourage your spouse?  You can tell me in the comments.